You know how, when you’re trying to figure out something that could have a lot of contributing factors, you start removing things one by one until you figure out the cause? Like, say, you feel like crap after you eat, so you stop drinking milk to see if that’s the problem, then cut out bread to see if that’s the problem, etc.
Lately I’ve been feeling like crap in general. I find that all day I’m a sourpuss, then when I get home I am so exhausted I just don’t want to do anything except sitting on the couch and watch TV. My diet has been horrible, and I’m just exhausted all the time. I have a short temper, too.
Last Tuesday night I went to the midnight showing of Eclipse with a friend. I have to have a minimum of 6 hours sleep a night to function, so I decided to take Wednesday off from work so I wasn’t pushing myself too hard.
Wednesday turned out to be a gloomy, rainy day, but I ended up having a really terrific day. I slept from 3 a.m. to 8:30 (I took a nap before the movie), got up and did some housework, ran some errands, then came home and did some reading and writing and sent a few e-mails.
I didn’t feel hurried or stressed at all, not one single minute, the whole day. And at one point in the day I got caught in a downpour! I rushed through the rain to get back to my car and collapsed in the driver’s seat soaked and smiling. It was a really good day.
I often find myself on the weekends feeling just like I do during the week – overwhelmed, stressed, and unmotivated. All those things I don’t do during the week pile up for the weekend and I can’t bring myself to do much of it.
I think there were two things going on there: it was a nice midweek break from work, and I didn’t feel pressured to do anything. I did things I wanted to do, or things that just felt right to me.
That’s the kind of life I could have if I wasn’t coming into this office every day, doing a job I hate and dealing with morons (of the client AND coworker/boss variety).
What to do? What to do?