Hey Jealousy

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Image by mortimer? via Flickr

The first time we moved when I was a kid, was just before kindergartern, I think.  We moved from a small ranch-style house to a large two story home in the same school district.  I went to the same elementary school that both of my parents had gone to as children.  The principal and the PE teacher were both high school classmates of my mom and dad.

The next time we moved was at the beginning of 5th grade.  I think I went to school for maybe a month before we moved, and I was devastated to leave my friends and the only place I’d ever known.  We stayed in state, but moved to a tiny small town in the south.  We stayed there for several months, then moved towards the end of 5th grade, to another town closer to the place where I had grown up.

We moved again the summer before 8th grade, then again in February of my sophomore year, and I graduated from the same high school there, as did all of my brothers.  My best friend, whom I met that first day of 10th grade at the second school, is still my best friend today, 22 years later.

Facebook has been amazing.  Through it I’ve reconnected with a lot of high school classmates (I moved a lot as an adult – three different states in 5 years) and I know about the upcoming reunion that I will be unable to attend.  I’ve been having fun searching Facebook.

The past few days I’ve been digging out old names to look up – my two best friends from elementary school, for instance.  I also looked up my closest friends from junior high (5th grade school 3 through the end of 7th grade), 3 girls I missed like crazy.

M and J are FB friends, but I’d been looking for D for a while with no success.  M told me J might know where she was (they’re not all that close anymore) and J messaged me last night to say that yes, she knows exactly where D is… she lives about 3 blocks away from J, and they have 3 children who are about the same ages.  In fact, their last two children are 3 weeks apart in age!  They were pregnant together!

There is this little part of me that is a bit jealous of those lifelong friendships.  They knew each other before I arrived on the scene, and now they live these cute little suburban lives within blocks of each other.  Their kids play together, and they’ve known each other forever.

I never had the chance to have that.  My best friend will always be my best friend, and sure we weren’t that old when we met, but we’ve drifted apart in recent years.  We live in two different states.  I’m married and she’s single, I’m working and she’s a full-time student.  I’m not sure she likes my husband all that much.

I think I’m more jealous of that sense of community and belonging.

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