I like to help. It’s what I do.
Unfortunately, over the last year or so, I’ve become involved in situations I either shouldn’t have been involved in, or where I wasn’t welcome. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes my help is neither wanted nor needed.
Last summer I got a Facebook message from my brother’s live-in girlfriend. They’ve been together for nearly a decade (possibly longer) but she is not someone I would consider a friend. Her message was a scathing bit of nastiness about my brother. I was shocked at the venom, and couldn’t understand why she felt the need to unload on me, as we have never been close.
I responded and so did she, and let’s just say it didn’t turn out well. My brother is still with her, and still keeps in contact with me, but I limit my contact with her.
He called me the other night and left a brief message, though it was actually longer than he intended. His end was short “Hey, it’s _____, call me”, but then he didn’t get the call disconnected properly because there was another two and a half minutes of him and his girlfriend arguing. He tried to stay calm, but she was very nasty, using the word “retard” in reference to him several times (she’s a special ed teacher – nice, huh?).
It made me really angry to hear it, but I didn’t call back. I did forward him the e-mail with the voicemail attached so he’d know what I heard. It was a rare peek into a private life I’d rather not see. I didn’t call back because of how angry it made me.
He made his choice. I have told him time and again I’m here if he needs me, but I refuse to get involved. If he wants to stay with her, that’s his decision.
I just wish he respected himself enough to walk away.