I saw the above in an aggregate reader the other day and I thought it was beautiful. Another item from the same feed was an emaciated cartoon character.
So what is your idea of beauty? Is the above something that turns you on, or does it repulse you?
I’m far from the American ideal of beauty. I think most women are. Why we let others punish us, and why we continue to punish ourselves for it makes no sense to me.
These days when I look in the mirror, more and more I like what I see. Sure, my figure is improving, but many other things are, as well. My eyes sparkle, my skin is more clear, I like the way I look in clothing. My good hair days are far outweighing the bad ones.
Sometimes I feel downright beautiful.
It wasn’t so long ago I felt disgusting and worthless.
I’m not saying that every day is a picnic. Some days it is a struggle just to keep going, keep moving, keep counting calories, keep drinking water. But every day it gets a little easier to shake off the bad days.
People in my life are complimenting me, but it’s almost like they aren’t sure why. They know something is different, but they are unsure what, so they just pick something:
- Great haircut! (You mean the one I got a month ago?)
- Gorgeous hair color! (Thanks! Had it for years!)
- That color looks fantastic on you! (Mental note: wear more pink.)
The changes, they go so much deeper than that. Someday, I’ll tell you everything.
For now, I look more like the girl up there than anything in a magazine, and right now? I’m ok with it. I know I won’t ever look like the girl in the magazine, and I’m ok with that too.
I will, however, be always working towards being the best me I can be.