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I’m sure you’re wondering about the new job. To be honest, I’m kind of wondering the same thing.
I spent the first month trying to wrap my arms around my undefined job title and functions, and learning the company processes. Then I found out I was pregnant and that really threw me for a loop.
I instantly became Not Myself, and when things went downhill, who could focus on job functions when real life was falling apart? Everyone was very understanding, but I was making a lot of mistakes and feeling very sheepish in general because my head just wasn’t in the game.
In the last couple of weeks I have started to feel more like myself again, and now my boss is in some kind of weird mood. He took those of us in the local office out to lunch, only to spend the entire time bitching about how we need to be more autonomous but he can’t trust us to do our jobs correctly. Interesting.
He’s managed to piss off all of his support staff, but he’s been out of town for most of the last month or so, so we are hoping that he’s in a better mood once he gets into the office on Monday.
Personally I am dreading his return and hoping for a change in his demeanor. I know that I’m going to have to start being more confrontational with him in order to get my job done to the best of my ability, and I’m not sure how that is going to go over.
I had to go to a continuing education class at the end of July. The topics were interesting, but it really drove home to me what I had been ignoring all along: I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve outgrown being someone else’s employee, and a location change isn’t going to change what’s inside me. I’m unhappy in my work life right now.
I want to work for myself and have more autonomy to fail or succeed on my own. I’m currently trying to fight the ennui and put some things into place that will make walking away from my job easier on me and my family financially.
I’m enjoying the remarkably lower stress level of the new job, as well as the larger paycheck. I’m just not willing to do all of this much longer.